A typical interview for an entry level position with a cricket freak-Hope IT and Cricket crazy folks like me would enjoy this one
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication Engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before !
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - " I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya he he he...
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and world cup, and ODI tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.And any way I was awaiting Sachin's 35th century to complete my exams. Last one year the Chappel-Ganguly controversy also affected my studies a lot you see-
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths except the cricket scores. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. But I know for sure that an over is 6 balls unless there are wides and no balls These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Cand: No, no. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Cand: Obviously, completing my Engineering and also watching all the world cup matches live till date. My mom never thought I would complete it.I mean matches! In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Mumbai) through some relative but I was unable to attend the interview since it was the final of the Asia cup between India and Srilanka
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Cand: he he he... Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain and with the kind of International cricket schedule no way
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff! . On which platforms have you worked?
Cand: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform.
Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are different locations in Mumbai)
Int: And which languages have you used?
Cand: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German,French, Russian and many other languages he he he...But I like English the best because of Richie Benaud's commentary and style
Int: Why is VC better than VB?
Cand: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Cand: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our
ministers and MPs use in assembly. I am only used to the assembly and huddle which takes place with the Indian team after every wicket falls
Int: What is your general project experience?
Cand: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Cand: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management or sales experience?
Cand: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel and little bit of PPT. I
can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use
speaker facility,blue tooth and mobiles a lot. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control',
'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' sorry, I am in meeting' etc. Also I can blame others for my
mistakes since anyway most projects are bound to fail! more than anything else I know that I can spend most of the time in meetings and seminars where nothing happens most of the time except a good lunch and some coffees and teas under the pretext of networking and being away from office and least but not last I excel in telling 'LIES' talking about business and prospects and targets which anyway are never going to happen in life time
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Cand: Not much.
1. I should at least get 100,000 in hand+ project bonus and annual passage for the select ODI and the World Cups
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.These targets should never clash with international cricket schedule of important matches.
3. I believe in flexi-timings and more importantly optional holidays during ODI tournaments of my choice
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans and blue colour whenever India plays ODI
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2
months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in WestIndies in Feb 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In
fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to Our Company!!! We look forward to working with you..............
and Hope our company would be one of the sponsor's for the next world cup!
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication Engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before !
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - " I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya he he he...
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and world cup, and ODI tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.And any way I was awaiting Sachin's 35th century to complete my exams. Last one year the Chappel-Ganguly controversy also affected my studies a lot you see-
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths except the cricket scores. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. But I know for sure that an over is 6 balls unless there are wides and no balls These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Cand: No, no. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Cand: Obviously, completing my Engineering and also watching all the world cup matches live till date. My mom never thought I would complete it.I mean matches! In fact, when I flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Mumbai) through some relative but I was unable to attend the interview since it was the final of the Asia cup between India and Srilanka
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Cand: he he he... Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain and with the kind of International cricket schedule no way
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff! . On which platforms have you worked?
Cand: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform.
Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are different locations in Mumbai)
Int: And which languages have you used?
Cand: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in
German,French, Russian and many other languages he he he...But I like English the best because of Richie Benaud's commentary and style
Int: Why is VC better than VB?
Cand: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Cand: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our
ministers and MPs use in assembly. I am only used to the assembly and huddle which takes place with the Indian team after every wicket falls
Int: What is your general project experience?
Cand: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Cand: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management or sales experience?
Cand: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel and little bit of PPT. I
can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use
speaker facility,blue tooth and mobiles a lot. And very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM', 'quality', 'version control',
'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' sorry, I am in meeting' etc. Also I can blame others for my
mistakes since anyway most projects are bound to fail! more than anything else I know that I can spend most of the time in meetings and seminars where nothing happens most of the time except a good lunch and some coffees and teas under the pretext of networking and being away from office and least but not last I excel in telling 'LIES' talking about business and prospects and targets which anyway are never going to happen in life time
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Cand: Not much.
1. I should at least get 100,000 in hand+ project bonus and annual passage for the select ODI and the World Cups
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.These targets should never clash with international cricket schedule of important matches.
3. I believe in flexi-timings and more importantly optional holidays during ODI tournaments of my choice
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans and blue colour whenever India plays ODI
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2
months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a world cup in WestIndies in Feb 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In
fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to Our Company!!! We look forward to working with you..............
and Hope our company would be one of the sponsor's for the next world cup!
posted by RK at 11:24 AM
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